I keep telling you that I donāt know if I love you, but Iām starting to think that isnāt the truth. Iām not the best at explaining my emotions. Honestly, I was never an emotional person until you came into my life. After you left, I found myself crying like a toddler when I thought about you. I would think about how it felt to lie down next to you, hold you close to me, and feel your body with my hands. You showed me a love I had never felt or experienced before, and because of that I sobbed when you left. I had such a beautiful image in front of me, a breathtaking view that I canāt put into words. I felt so at ease when I was next to you, like I belonged there and didnāt want to be anywhere else.
I think about the time we lied down on the road together while you tried to look at the stars with your weak vision. I think about watching the Grinch with you until the sun came up because you wanted me to stay awake with you. I think about running my fingers through your hair, tangling it, and you still wanting me to continue. I think about you resting your head on my chest. I even think about the way your eyes softened when you looked at me. In my past ārelationships,ā and I use that term lightly, I would force myself to make a move, hold her hand, or put my arm over her shoulder. But with you nothing was forced. I was simply acting on what my body wanted in the moment. I am so drawn to you that everything came naturally, I couldnāt get enough of you and I still canāt even though youāre miles away.
Iāve never had feelings this strong for anyone in my life, and that has to mean something. I used to tell myself āoh, itās because I miss herā whenever I got these intense cravings for your presence, but I think itās more than that. Yes, I miss you and I cannot wait to see you again, but this feeling is different. Itās not always a sad, empty feeling. Sometimes itās warm and comforting. Iāll see something that reminds me of you and think āI would love to experience this with Ryleigh,ā and it makes me so happy. Yes, most of the time when I think of you I get sad that youāre not with me, but Iām also so happy that I get to experience my life with such a gorgeous, smart, goal oriented woman who loves me for me. Iām so happy I found someone I can sit and do absolutely nothing with and still have the best time of my life, because Iām spending it with you.
I am so happy that we are together, and I know itās early on in our relationship, but I love you so much, and I mean it this time. If love means finding everything about someone beautiful, always wanting to learn more about them, or feeling like nothing puts you in a better mood than seeing them smile, then I have never been more helplessly in love than I am with you. I want you to know that I love you more than anyone else on this earth, and I will hold you deeply in my heart until Iām dead and buried. I love you so much, and I love everything about you. God couldnāt have blessed me with a more perfect woman, and I couldnāt be more grateful.
Love, Myles